Friday, November 30, 2007

Pink money

It's that time of year when our Canadian family members make the long journey to the Hood for some Christmas shopping. This time, it's Glen's sister, Clair, and her daughter Cara, who are on their way (and should be arriving tonight), and what should make this trip particularly fruitful for them is that the Canadian dollar is stronger than the US dollar currently. Strength, however, does not equate to coolness. After all, the Queen of England is on a lot of their money, which is pink and other weird colors, and they have one and two dollar coins (the "loonie" and "toonie," respectively), instead of bills, and a two dollar anything is just weird.

Weird or not, Canada is more than okay by me. We we hope to be be receiving a shipment of butter tart shells, some Hostess Hickory Sticks (Glen's favorite, which are unavailable in the States, and happen to be the very first item in the chip area of the Canadian Favourites website (spellcheck, by the way, hates the Canadian/British spellings), and some Vachon Au Caramels (my nephew Aaron's favorite, which are unavailable here in the States, and happen to be the very first item on the Vachon website, possibly some Clodhoppers (everyone we give these to becomes addicted; they're nothing more than small blobs of chocolate covered graham cracker clusters, but WOW, they work), and we hope, some Pamplemousse, a pink grapefruit sparkling beverage which everyone in my family loves. The manufacturer recently overhauled the packaging (old packaging shown here), and it's been unavailable for months. Oh yeah, and I hope to get some Canadian/Niagara region wine, too. Duty-free at the shop at the border. This is my current fav:

In exchange, we'll probably be hitting all of the area thrift stores, as well as many other shops in the area. We hope to have dinner tonight at DeLorenzo's on Hamilton (walking distance), and lunch at Pete's Steakhouse on Sunday. Trenton has a lot to offer. Police Director Joseph Santiago's statement about quitting before he moves to Trenton is a huge insult, and does so much damage to our reputation, so hopefully Council will show him the door soon. But the fact Glen and I have people who will make the 9+ hour drive several times a year, without taxpayers footing the bill for their gas, speaks volumes, too. Hooray for Canadians!


Irving Bertrand Clean said...

I'm sorry in advance; my White Castle high just peaked a few minutes ago...

First, I don't appreciate when a people has more than four different denominations of (commonly used) currency.

The Euro is even worse than money of our flappin'-headed, beady-eyed brethren/sistren to the North, because the Euros even have a 20 cent piece. Holy fuckin' overkill, Batman.

Still, you gotta give it up to Canada for insisting on the dollar coin, and later the two-dollar coin. Dollar bills are disgusting; anyone who's ever darkened the doors of a strip club will tell you that. We (America) suck for not forcing the dollar bill out of existence.

However, in my limited exposure to Canadiana, I've noticed an unfortunate byproduct of this increased usage of metallic currency: Men Carrying Change Purses. That's just comical.

Also, the food: Since gaining the acquaintance of C Note and G Spot, I've probably packed on 10 pounds on butter tarts and clodhoppers alone. Shit, I haven't even cracked that bottle of beetlejuice or bubblegoose or whatever it is. Anyway, how is it that Canadians are not, on average, far more obese than Americans?

Finally, I wish horrible social diseases on Santiago. Go to hell, you douche.

That is all.

Chrissy said...

You should apologize to Mrs. Clean if you had WC for lunch, pal, not me, since this computer ain't equipped with Smell-o-Vision yet (praise be).

Regarding obesity in our neighbors to the north, I'm going to go out on a limb, and say that there's a good chance that they are ALMOST (collectively) as morbidly obese as Americans are (collectively). They have a wide assortment of foodstuffs and restaurants, and they drive that chow right into their guts just as readily as we do. But it's cold there (do not believe any Canadian who tells you otherwise), and I think all that shivering burns calories and makes them cranky and inclined to engage in brutal bar and hockey fights, which also burns calories. Despite their fondness for steel-toed boots to kick in teeth, collectively Canadians are way more high-minded, and pay attention to world news; we don't, which helps to deflect the focus from the Canadian fat ass, who is saying (in between pulling the sweater over someone else's head and beating that noggin good), "What do you think of the crisis in North Korea?" to the American fat ass, who doesn't give too much of a shit about North Korea, or any place else, and is saying, "Can you pick up a bucket of Kentucky Fried on yer way home?" I have nothing against fat asses, by the way. I have one too.

Perhaps Glen's bloggin' and righteous sister, B-Spot, can shed some light on this?

Bob (formerly from Trenton) said...

I miss Pete's steaks that were served in them little basket dealies! It was Pete's right? Is Diamond's restaurant still around -- that was good, too.

Canadians live longer than Americans, according to the movie Sicko.

Brendage said...

It's true, we're a polite people but we're not above slapping on our Grebs (aka steel toe boats) and doling out an ass kicking when necessary. Particularly in the wee hours of the morning when we've been denied our national beverage "beer". I believe it is true that we have a proportionate number of fatty's to compete with our neighbours to the South. However having to shovel snow and wear metabolism increasing itchy sweaty touques 6 months of the year means that our blubber ratio forms an essential warming layer. We have a bigger country so we also have further to walk or drive our electric snow scooters (feel the burn). We counter act this activity by eating poutine (Jolene pronounces it poon-tine) a French Canadian dish of Fries, Gravy and Cheese curds and we wash it down with Tim Horton's Ice Caps, a frothy/fatty coffee beverage of the North. Yes it's true we have pretty money, and don't worry Mr. Clean, any guy caught carrying it in a coin purse will feel the sting of the might steel toed boot in his dental plate soon enough.
B-spot Bracing for a winter storm watch in the hood!

Irving Bertrand Clean said...

Nobody asked, and I'm sure you don't care, but that White Castle death-fest I'd ingested right before sharing my wisdom with you?

Yup. It's still in my body... IF you know what I mean.

It hurts.

I bet a steaming plate of poon-tine, with a box o' Timbits for dessert, would flush me out big time.

Stay high, kiddies!

pbaman said...

I like the dollar and two dollar coins. They are neat looking.