Friday, March 21, 2008

Pervy goodness and more

Warning: people are screwed, and there is nothing I can do about it, except bring it to your attention, so you're aware of what might be lurking...

Okay, this is a little self-involved, but this is my blog, and I can do what I want.

I have a love-hate relationship with humanity. I like individuals, but tend to hate groups and committees. I think people are mostly good, but that all of us have some level of twistedness inside, too. I suppose there are varying degrees of goodness to inside-y twistedness, depending on the situation, who is around, and probably stuff like upbringing, too.

Anyway, as much as I prefer individuals to groups, it's apparent that individuals will do all sorts of weird things when they assume no one is watching. But hooray for Sitemeter! We can, in some ways, watch these people! Here are some of the most interesting search terms that have brought people to my blog in recent weeks (you may have to click on the image to see the search details, which are in the lower part of the picture):

Okay, so this one is no biggie, but it's still interesting that people are concerned enough about the idea of losing the handsome high school building that they'd google that phrase.

Oh dear. Now we're getting a little wacky. Notice, too, the country of the searcher: not an American; well, at least not one living here.

I went off on a little tirade against WXPN (88.5) in Philadelphia about a week ago, and noticed a HUGE amount of traffic for the stuff I said, a lot of it coming from a Grateful Dead fan site (I didn't know those people could use the internet, go figure), and I was afraid that they'd come after me for taking WXPN to task for their weekly Grateful Dead show. My major complaints were that no band — especially a has-been band — deserves that kind of attention, and besides, the DeadHeads were probably all too stoned to remember when the show was on, and that they all had their own grimy bootleg tapes anyway. The rest of us should not be punished. Oddly, for all that traffic from that fan site, I didn't get any hate mail or death threats (yet), probably because DeadHeads would rather smoke pot than fight me. BUT: it was incredibly validating to get a few hits from people who agreed with me about the Grateful Dead. Yes, friend, they are stupid.

By the way, I just want to reiterate, in case I didn't make it clear, that for as much as I complained about WXPN, I really do appreciate that station. Often, we're most critical of the things we love, which was the case in my post about WXPN. But sometimes, we're most critical of the things we hate, like the Grateful Dead. I just want to make that distinction. Love XPN, hate The Dead.

Oh good! Some more freaky stuff! I get a lot of hits for people looking for cheese curls. This person had something very specific in mind, and while I aim to please, it's a shame the pervs are probably not finding what they're looking for on my blog. You'll find cheese curls here on TrentonKat, but no bathing in them. Sorry!

Yay! Another demented foreigner! I dedicated a recent post entirely to urine, and mentioned how a guy went pee-pee against my fence, and Lacey charged him — from the other side of the fence; he wasn't in peril, not that I would have minded if she got a hold of him, under the circumstances, even though I'm sure that's a major faux pas to admit, especially in light of the Congo saga in Princeton (in case you're not local, Congo is a German Shepherd — unneutered [rich people are stupid too!] — who attacked a landscaper, and the dog was subsequently sentenced to death, but there's been a stay, and a lot of legal wrangling, because people in Princeton can do that for their dogs. Not that you asked, but urban pit bull or estates-ville purebreed dog, it's ALWAYS the owner's fault, dammit). Lacey was just not that sort of dog, though: she preferred to scare people silly THROUGH the fence...and wow, she was good at it! She knew just who to charge, and who not to. People loitering by my fence always got it. Anyway, if you recall, the pisser soaked his own leg (it was glorious) before running back to his car, and I hope he soaked his car seat too. Jerk. Anyway, this whole urination episode took place "in broad daylight" but other than that, I'm not sure how this intrepid French Canadian found me. Hope s/he enjoyed reading that post!

This might be my favorite search term that brought someone to my blog, of all time. Note, again, where it's coming from. Foreigners. Sheesh. The post discovered by this curious Croatian was the same one found by the French Canadian, above. In that post, I waxed poetic about urination, but the whole point of it was to discuss whether or not pet pee would ruin your lawn and plants. Bottom line: not really, depending on whether or not the companion critter squats or sprays. You may want to "flush" any puddling pee away with your garden hose, because in concentrated doses, it will burn, just like any good fertilizer.

Anyway, a sick aside: I believe this particular Croatian spends a lot of time looking for "extra long female piss" because s/he has wound up visiting my blog on two separate occasions, on two separate days courtesy of that particular phrase. Poor fellow. Oh, I know I don't know it's a fellow for sure, but come on, we KNOW it is.

Anyway, thanks for indulging me. By the way, I get A LOT of hits for Barry Colicelli, and Captain Sleepy (with the whole word "Captain" spelled out). I'll be revising my links on the right over the next few days to make sure I'm able to properly direct TrentonKat visitors interested in those terms.


Irving Bertrand Clean said...

Someone recently found us by searching

"handicapped boys wear diaper diapers"

I'm not sure which disturbs me more:

a. That someone took the time to Google this
b. That same someone scrolled through 28 pages of search results before clicking on us

Chrissy said...

Oh my!! How awesome!! You've brought up an important point, too. For some of those search terms (of course, I googled them after our pervy friends did, just to see where I ranked), I come up first. And, of course, for a couple of the most disturbing searches, I place first: "bathtub full of cheese curls," and "extra long female piss" will bring you right to me. Scary.

I'm on the first results page, but further down on the list for "testicles whipped off neutered." I'm also about midway down for the search on the high school.

BUT -- I am tired of clicking through search pages to find my blog on the "his penis"/"broad daylight" search, and the "Grateful Dead Are Stupid" search too. But I thank those people for visiting, nonetheless.